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Posts Tagged ‘Department for Transport’

HS2 route to be tunnelled under Brussels to get to China more quickly

not so much Hu, but WenThe government has today announced plans to vary the route through which it obtains capital funding by avoiding Brussels completely and extending the line to China.

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2011
More from Politics



Ministers to consider raising the speed of light

‘Increasing the speed limit would reduce the journey time from the sun to the earth from its current sluggish 8 minutes and 19 seconds, bringing enormous economic benefits by increasing the amount of sunlight we receive and potentially lengthening the day.’

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2011
More from Politics



Government unveils ‘unnecessary road sign ahead’ road sign

Motorists will no longer have to worry about whether to take notice of road signs, after the Government unveils plans to introduce ‘unnecessary road sign’ signs before pointless, irritating signs like ‘Flood’, ‘No giant windmills here’, ‘Thank you for driving carefully through our Village’ and ‘Slow down – children’.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs

sufferers being re-routed via city of UtopiaHighways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’.

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2011
More from Features, Health



Government to spend hundreds of millions on snowploughs “to jinx it”

The government intends to invest hundreds of millions of pounds on snowploughs, gritters and salt supplies in a bid to “jinx” the chances of Britain experiencing another rough winter, it emerged this morning.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2010
More from News In Brief