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Half of UK population ‘will die in the future’
At least half of the current UK population will die of something fatal at some point in the future, a stark new medical report has suggested. [read...]
Tagged Department of Health
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Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning
Politicians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter. [read...]
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Lonely people on ‘red alert’ as Jeremy Hunt threatens to spend time with them
‘I’ll be a little like Father Christmas. Emptying my burgeoning sack of ‘good company’ into your smiling face’, declared the Secretary of State for Health. [read...]
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NHS 111 service to be restricted to well people
‘Ill people have the unfortunate effect of clogging up the health system, and they can really bring down the people in the call centre with their constant winging,’ said a Government spokesman. [read...]
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NHS to start publishing surgeons’ golf handicaps
‘The public have the right to know how their surgeon is performing on the fairways and the greens,’ said Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt. [read...]