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Posts Tagged ‘Department of Health’

Man disappointed as fag packet contains no tumour

‘Imagine my disappointment at finding 20 cigarettes in place of the moist tumour I’d seen advertised on TV,’ said customer Matthew Arlington.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2013
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Committees to take up job of declaring people dead

Following an increase in the death rate among people forced into poverty, the government has announced plans to switch the job of declaring people dead from doctors to an independent team of assessors.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2011
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Dumpiness epidemic caused by widescreen TVs, say experts

remoteThe increasing numbers of squat and dumpy children in British families is not due to poor diets and a lack of exercise as first thought but is, experts believe, a symptom of the proliferation of widescreen televisions in the nation’s homes.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment, Health



Party manifestos to be displayed in plain packets with government health warning

best to keep them away from childrenNew election rules mean that all political manifestos will be required by law to be displayed inside plain white packets with a prominent health warning. Politicians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2011
More from Health, Politics



Cameron to discuss NHS reforms with GPs ‘as soon as he can get an appointment’

‘I tried calling as soon as their surgeries opened at 9 o’clock, but was told I was 14th in the queue.’

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2011
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