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Posts Tagged ‘Department of the Environment’

Thames Jubilee Pageant to include celebratory whaling

Heavily armed Prince Philip to ask if whales 'have come far?'Fans of old-time nautical industries are celebrating yet another government U-turn, after Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman caved in to public pressure and announced that the Diamond Jubilee Pageant will include a live demonstration of whale-hunting in the Thames.

‘Tens of thousands of people will be gathered to celebrate the Jubilee along the banks of our brownest river ,’ Spelman said at a hastily-arranged press conference. ‘And now they can cheer all the louder as we turn it a much more patriotic red.’

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Posted: May 31st, 2012
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‘Still too early for shirtsleeves’ Government warns

The Department of the Environment today warned the public that, despite a series of pleasantly sunny days, it is not yet sufficiently clement to consider leaving the house without a jacket.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2009
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