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Posts Tagged ‘depression’

Gregg Wallace fixed grin device cures depression, provokes violence

‘Why the long face?’ is a question that may soon be relegated to the past thanks to the release of the incredible Gregg Wallace fixed-grin device. Fitting neatly and invisibly into the corners of the mouth ‘The Wallace’ claims to turn all frowns upside down in a nano-second. Anger management specialists and medical practitioners are hailing the device as an amazing alternative to anti-depressants and expensive courses of therapy.

‘Valium, librium and mogadon once seemed to provide the perfect answer to stress,’ said Dr Hilda Radcliffe from her Harley Street clinic, ‘but The Wallace comes without any of the typical side-affects, such as altering the chemistry of the brain and turning people into vegetables. However, it is not without its problems and patients do need to take care where and when they wear it.’

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2015
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Lottery winner still not depressed 8 weeks after announcement

In an extraordinary turn of events Jack Carter, the Euromillions winner and former landscape gardener, continues to be euphorically joyful – despite sociological expectations that he would now be wholly dependent on Prozac.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Bill Oddie and Kate Humble to present ‘Suicidewatch’

viewers already asking; 'Is it twitching?'Following the enormous success of the genteel seasonal programmes fronted by two national treasures, the BBC has announced that the latest observational wildlife series will be launched later this year live from HMP Wakefield.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2015
More from From The Archives

Last posting dates for Blue Monday cards

This year the official Most Depressing Day of the Year is January 21st. That’s two days earlier than last year – so don’t get caught out (imagine how bad that would feel).

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Samaritans criticised for cold-calling campaign

Following a huge number of complaints to Ofcom, the national charity Samaritans has been criticized for embarking upon a cold calling campaign across the UK.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2012
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