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Posts Tagged ‘DFS’

Health concerns over man who paid full price at Alton Towers

met his Nemesis in the ticket boothA man, whose name has been withheld to spare him public humiliation has been detained for psychiatric reports after arriving unannounced with his wife and two children at Alton Towers and attempting to pay full price for a family ticket.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2014
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Families urged to stop being interviewed on horrible sofas

People in the news should refrain from appearing on television bulletins sitting on horrible sofas, says a social attitudes report.

Dr. Muriel Comfort of the Social Attitudes Foundation, said: ‘Typically, man and wife, or even the extended family, are interviewed in their lounge sitting on their horrible sofa, which makes it difficult for the viewer to concentrate on the interview. Instead, viewers are quite naturally busy denouncing the horrible sofa.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2014
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Sofaland declares independence from the Kingdom of Leather

The United Nations met in emergency session today following the shock news that Sofaland had unilaterally broken away from its historic rulers, the Kingdom of Leather.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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Sir Alex Ferguson complains about extra time at DFS sale

‘It’s a disgrace’,fumed Ferguson. ‘The length of the sale was clearly advertised on TV. We shopped accordingly and, by the end of Sunday, we had a lovely vibrating armchair with head massage settings.’

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Posted: May 16th, 2012
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DFS sale signals green shoots of economic recovery

In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are well advanced to launch a massive cut price sale. Photographs of disconcertingly small lounging adults and children have been taken and advertising space has already been booked to carry uplifting messages of substantial savings across the range of comfortable armchairs, and two and three seaters, some in leather.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2011
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