‘It will be impossible to be a racist if everyone is the same colour purple. Our public information campaign will be fronted by John Terry, Luis Suarez and Diane Abbott.’ [read...]
Scientists at the National Physical Laboratory have established the length of ‘a piece of string’ to be 1 metre, although Jacob Rees-Mogg has proposed the perch as the ideal British unit of measurement as it is the oldest one he can find. [read...]
‘When I got there, I found the place was dominated by rowdy old men, all waving their order papers about. Before I knew it I was wearing leather trousers and being humiliated on a regular basis.’ [read...]
Observers are becoming ‘increasingly concerned’ at the apparent absence of the Prime Minister only weeks from a general election. ‘She’s dead, stands to reason, don’t it?’ said a taxi driver. ‘How else do you account for her refusal to appear on the radio, [read...]
‘So-called ‘imaginary’ numbers – based on the square root of a negative number – were considered an oddity for many years until they proved their worth in electronic and electrical engineering’, said mathematician Jonathan Hughes. [read...]
