In the wake of news that the boss of Track and Trace, Dido Harding, has been ordered by her own app to ‘self-isolate’, comes the reassurance that the program central to regulating coronavirus transmission will now be run by a matrix sign on the M62, [read...]
Ministers have announced a ‘brilliant’ way for Britain to jump the queue with the Pfizer vaccine, by placing a rush order through a dormant greetings card company registered in Liechtenstein by somebody who went to school with half the Cabinet. [read...]
The Government today announced the next stage of its test and trace programme – NHS Hide and Seek. Appearing in front of reporters, Dido Harding said: “…7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…coming, ready or not!”. [read...]
“Last night, when that big orangey-yellow light disappeared, that seemed to be it. It was all over. There would be no more light. No-one could reasonably have predicted that it would re-appear several hours later. [read...]
Health service chiefs are celebrating A&E waiting times hitting target for the first time since the Crimea war, due to an impressive pincer strategy of requiring all attendees to ring NHS 111 before admission, while simultaneously deploying rogue software to block the digit 1 on all telephone keypads. [read...]
