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Posts Tagged ‘diet’

Man fights for life in Quality Street induced coma after festivities curtailed

A man is fighting for his life today after going ‘cold turkey’ following a Christmas eating binge. Dick Scales, 36, a much loved member of sleepy local seaside town Ringhersham remains in a ‘Stable, but critical condition’ following a sudden withdrawal of festive foodstuffs.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2014
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‘Diet lard’ released to combat obesity epidemic

selling by the tub-load‘When a customer is called ‘lard arse’, they can point to the label and say ‘no, diet lard arse’

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2013
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Breakthrough as scientists confirm ‘everything in excess’ is bad for you

‘It appears that literally everything – from asparagus to zoom bars – can and probably will kill you if you excessively indulge in them,’ explained Dr Stevenson.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2013
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Overweight colleague to switch to skimmed milk

It was confirmed this morning that local office worker Sally Gibson is to move from semi-skimmed to skimmed milk in an effort to lose weight.

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2012
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Celebrities endorse the Photoshop diet

The latest diet craze to be endorsed by hundreds of celebrities is the Photoshop diet, in which hi-tech software is used to make images of the celebrity look like they are up to 100 pounds lighter than in reality.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2011
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