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Posts Tagged ‘Dignitas’

‘Embarrassing’ Britain is humanely destroyed

‘It seemed like the kindest thing to do’ explained Britain’s European relative Germany. ‘He kept trying to pretend that he was still one of the big boys, entering into military campaigns he couldn’t really afford and acting like he was still one of the major world economies. It was so sad.’

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2011
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Assisted suicide guidelines permit feeding of Bruce Forsyth to lions

The Director of Public Prosecutions has confirmed that new suicide guidelines will be based on how annoying the deceased is, and how inventive the method of killing.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2010
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‘I need help’ says assisted-suicide bomber

a good way to get rid of the family this ChristmasA man who wishes to end it all in the manner of a suicide bomber is appealing against the refusal of the National Health Service to help him kill himself and everyone around him. ‘All I want to do is blow myself up’, said Colin Jessop, ‘but my doctor refuses to help me. He only has to pull the cord on my rucksack. But ‘Oh no’, it’s ‘medical ethics’ this and ‘Hippocratic Oath’ that. It’s political correctness gone mad.’

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2009
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Friends Reunited partners Dignitas for over eighties market

Social networking site Friends Reunited is optimistic it can attract users from the 80+ demographic, through a sponsorship deal with assisted suicide facilitators Dignitas. ‘Our research shows many old people enjoy nothing more than keeping up with which of their old friends and enemies have passed away, and we’re delighted to be providing them with this news online,’ said a spokesman, ‘if we can then upsell the idea that maybe they might like to think about joining their old school pals via a luxury trip to Switzerland, all the better.’

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2009
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Spectacular suicides now available from Swiss clinic Indignitas

immortality beckonsThe ‘Jim Morrison’ deal, a Paris-based weekend break includes drugs, alcohol and sex followed by drowning in a bath. 

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2009
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