Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films. [read...]
A team of hirsute scientists and adventurers has returned from an unsuccessful six-month trek of the British Isles, jointly sponsored by the Disney and the Mormons, looking for affordable razor blades for men as part of a world-wide anti-poverty campaign. [read...]
Under the terms of the invasion, Lucas will retain a consultancy role from his bottle dungeon at Disneyland.
Speaking for about three quarters of an hour too long, the in-house Disneyland torturer said that Mr Lucas was looking forward to the franchise further trampling fans’ sacred memories underfoot. [read...]