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Posts Tagged ‘Disneyland’

Israeli tourists ‘gutted’ that they’re not welcome in Bradford

Tel Aviv airport was unusually quiet yesterday following George Galloway’s announcement that Bradford is to be an ‘Israel-free zone.’ ‘Normally there would be three or four flights a day to Leeds Bradford airport’, a spokesman said. ‘Israelis love Bradford.’

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
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UK Border Agency introduces height restrictions for visitors to Britain

‘We got the idea from amusement parks as a way of reducing queues.’

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Posted: Jun 28th, 2013
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Evil empire takes over other evil empire in bid to finally crush childhood memories

Under the terms of the invasion, Lucas will retain a consultancy role from his bottle dungeon at Disneyland.

Speaking for about three quarters of an hour too long, the in-house Disneyland torturer said that Mr Lucas was looking forward to the franchise further trampling fans’ sacred memories underfoot.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2012
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Disneyland launches modern-day pirates ride

Disneyland has updated its famous ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride that thrilled so many theme park visitors and inspired the popular Johnny Depp movies. Families will now experience a twenty-first century African hi-jack by real Somali warlords wielding machetes and Kalashnikovs.

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Posted: Nov 20th, 2008
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