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Posts Tagged ‘DIY’

DIY show does makeover for normal, healthy family

Viewers of a DIY makeover show were left a little bemused last night as they watched the transformation of a house occupied by a normal healthy family

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2015
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DIY worshippers demand closure of churches on Sunday

Worshippers of the gods of tinkering, pottering and fixing up have pledged to oppose moves to extend church opening times, and to defend Sundays as a ‘designated day for hardware-based activities.’

Rev Stephen ‘Bodger’ Davis of the Church of the Holy Dremmel, said: ‘Sunday are sacred to us. There’s plenty of time throughout the week to pray to Christ and sing hymns – no-one needs an extra half day. We accept that not everyone goes to the hardware store week in, week out, but we have to remember that this is still a DIY-worshipping nation. Unless our traditions are maintained, children will soon have no idea what decking was or why the Ground Force Trinity were so important.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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B&Q to close 60 ‘argument zones’

after screaming at each other in the tile section, why not look at the plantsKingfisher, parent company of B&Q and the ironically titled ‘Screwfix’, has announced it plans to phase out some of its least ‘maritally fractious’ stores.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2015
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Impotent man has best kept house on street

Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, 55.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014
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Reclusive Japanese karate expert was ‘just using kid to wash and clean’

An American high school student is suing an elderly Japanese man who, he claims, tricked him into washing cars and doing DIY at his house, under the pretence that he was learning self defence.

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Posted: May 26th, 2011
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