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B&Q to close 60 ‘argument zones’
Kingfisher, parent company of B&Q and the ironically titled ‘Screwfix’, has announced it plans to phase out some of its least ‘maritally fractious’ stores. [read...]
Tagged DIY
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‘Nigel now free to regrout bathroom’ says Mrs Farage
Since Britain left the European Union two-weeks ago, one Mrs Farage has been trying to remind her husband Nigel that he is now free to regrout the grotty old tiles in the bathroom. “I asked Nigel to do something about those tiles back in the spring of 1992,” [read...]
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Man paints stuff in the house to prove he’s not hungover
Middle-aged man, Steve Daniels, woke up after an unremarkable night-out with a burning desire to take on productive DIY tasks, it has emerged. [read...]
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Dulux marketing team ‘still giggling’ over One Coat product name
The ‘ironic’ naming of Dulux’s One Coat range of paint is the ‘stuff of legend’, according to a company whistleblower. ‘Honestly, ten years on and we still dine out on it. I can’t believe what was said as a joke was taken seriously.’ [read...]
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Proud new DeWalt owner still looking for something to drill
‘This roughty-toughty piece of pro kit cost me a hundred and fifty smackers,’ said homeowner Alex Staveley. ‘But I’ve yet to find a single bloody use for it.’ [read...]