Since Britain left the European Union two-weeks ago, one Mrs Farage has been trying to remind her husband Nigel that he is now free to regrout the grotty old tiles in the bathroom. “I asked Nigel to do something about those tiles back in the spring of 1992,” [read...]
Middle-aged man, Steve Daniels, woke up after an unremarkable night-out with a burning desire to take on productive DIY tasks, it has emerged. [read...]
The ‘ironic’ naming of Dulux’s One Coat range of paint is the ‘stuff of legend’, according to a company whistleblower. ‘Honestly, ten years on and we still dine out on it. I can’t believe what was said as a joke was taken seriously.’ [read...]
‘This roughty-toughty piece of pro kit cost me a hundred and fifty smackers,’ said homeowner Alex Staveley. ‘But I’ve yet to find a single bloody use for it.’ [read...]
Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, [read...]
