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Posts Tagged ‘doctors’

NHS proudly unveils new type 3 diabetes

eager upgraders now queueing round the blockThe National Health Service today unveiled the long-expected new type 3 diabetes to a packed press conference in Hammersmith, claiming it is the ‘best ever’ version of the disease. Simply referred to as ‘The New Diabetes’, this updated condition has already taken the US by storm, with obese people literally jumping with joy (albeit not very high) at the new features of this ailment.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2012
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Hypochondriac given six months to live by self

‘When you’ve spent your life battling imagined ill health, you just know when a twinge in your ankle is actually something far more sinister.’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2011
More from News In Brief



Committees to take up job of declaring people dead

Following an increase in the death rate among people forced into poverty, the government has announced plans to switch the job of declaring people dead from doctors to an independent team of assessors.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2011
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Challenging day for Dr Christian as his mum appears on Embarrassing Bodies

Diagnosis: Run Away!!!‘He just clammed up and looked very strange as soon as I started explaining about my thick smelly discharge.’

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment, Health



Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2011
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