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Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

Family dog takes gap year to ‘find himself’

Local park no longer enoughThrew a couple of tins of Winalot Prime and a well-pawed copy of the Ruff Guide to the World in a knapsack, and set off down the A20 towards China.

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Posted: May 13th, 2015
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Dog perfectly well aware he’s a good boy

also knows he's a cheeky little scamp, yesh he duzRusty, a three-year-old Yorkshire terrier from Esher, has confirmed that he is now completely convinced of his intrinsic moral decency.

The breakthrough came after his owner, Hannah Morrison, 43, had repeatedly assured him he was ‘a good boy, a good boy, a good good GOOD GOOD goooooood boy’.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2015
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Dogs having to impregnate too many ‘Sorry You’re Leaving’ cards with bum smells

‘Once it was only when a long-standing pack member was leaving,’ said Monty, a border terrier. ‘These days, the plain brown envelopes come round to celebrate the birth of a colleague’s puppies, a successful de-worming and even a new basket. I’m fed up with having to cock my leg to congratulate some bitch I barely know.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2013
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Scientists breed non-pooing dog

Canine geneticists have engineered a breed of genetically modified pit bulls that do not ‘do a poo’ or even have to ‘go to the bathroom’. According to Dr Marcus Hunter of Oxford University, this could revolutionize the sometimes fraught relationship between dog owners and the rest of society.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2012
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Dog walking to feature as demonstration sport at London Olympics

Events which will feature in the trial include the 1500m Hurried Early Morning Stroll, the Poo Retrieval Unclean Jerk and the 100m Arse Wipe Across the Hall Carpet.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
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