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Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

Dogs having to impregnate too many ‘Sorry You’re Leaving’ cards with bum smells

‘Once it was only when a long-standing pack member was leaving,’ said Monty, a border terrier. ‘These days, the plain brown envelopes come round to celebrate the birth of a colleague’s puppies, a successful de-worming and even a new basket. I’m fed up with having to cock my leg to congratulate some bitch I barely know.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2013
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Scientists breed non-pooing dog

Canine geneticists have engineered a breed of genetically modified pit bulls that do not ‘do a poo’ or even have to ‘go to the bathroom’. According to Dr Marcus Hunter of Oxford University, this could revolutionize the sometimes fraught relationship between dog owners and the rest of society.

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2012
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Dog walking to feature as demonstration sport at London Olympics

Events which will feature in the trial include the 1500m Hurried Early Morning Stroll, the Poo Retrieval Unclean Jerk and the 100m Arse Wipe Across the Hall Carpet.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
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Homeless may be used as street lighting

‘It makes sense because people living on the streets can move to where they’re needed,’ said a spokesman for one Conservative local authority.

But homeless charities have attacked the plans arguing that dogs might use the ‘homeless lamp posts’ to cock their leg against

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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Study finds animals still being discriminated against in the workplace

enough to send you barkingA study undertaken by the Department for Work and Pensions has found that a disproportionate number of animals in the UK are still being confined to the most menial of jobs, and are repeatedly passed over for promotion.

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2012
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