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Posts Tagged ‘Donald Trump’

‘Donald Trump’ becomes new safe word

The real-estate magnate and Presidential-hopeful, has emerged as the GOP’s frontrunner to become America’s new codeword for crossing emotional and moral boundaries. Organized BDSM groups will be using the phrase ‘Donald Trump’ to warn members when they are about to exceed sexual limits or say ‘something dumbass about menstruation’.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2015
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Google purchases the alphabet

In what has being described as the biggest business take-over of ‘letters representing phonemes’, Google is set to acquire ownership of three thousand years of written civilization. Any language based on the Classical Latin model will come under Google’s copyright, forcing many to use alternate forms of communication – such as crude hieroglyphs, grunting noises and ‘thumping the floor with your foot’.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2015
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Geoff Capes spotted on Phobos

‘He’s got a copy of the Radio Times from August 1984 and what looks like a half-eaten Cornish pasty, but it’s difficult to tell due to the size of his hands.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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Trump targets comb-over vote in bid for White House

‘We’ve been laughed at for too long’ said Trump. ‘It’s time for follicly-challenged men everywhere to stand up and be counted. To stand tall and proud like your hair on a windy day on a championship links golf course’.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2015
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‘Birthers’ conflicted after Obama’s birth certificate proves he is son of God

on a mission to heal the sickRepublican conspiracy theorists have reported bewilderment today after their persistent claims for documentary evidence of the President’s place of birth were answered by a birth certificate confirming that Barack Obama was born neither in Hawaii or Kenya, but in a stable in Bethlehem.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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