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Posts Tagged ‘drinking’

Shock as window cleaner posts annual loss of nearly £700

George Kerr, a 68-year-old window cleaner from Birmingham, has stunned friends, family and City analysts by reporting a loss of £693 for the financial year ending 5th April 2015. Fears are growing that this may not be the only disappointing set of annual results in the self-employed trading sector.

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2015
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‘Couple of pints’ with Kim Jong-il ends badly for local bell-end

best not to mention the Coen brothers Drink turned ugly over a disagreement about films

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2015
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Met Office refuses to apologise for getting forecast right

‘The computer had to go back to Amstrad to have the memory chips upgraded to four megabytes,’ explained the senior officer on duty, ‘so we had to pull out the maps, crayons, seaweed, everything.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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Royals uphold tradition of getting w*nkered after christening

next one to be held in Las VegasThe royal bender, which lasted ‘well into the evening’, according to seasoned observers, finally came to an end when Thames Valley Police fished a number of semi-naked royals from the banks of the River Thames.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2013
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Minimum alcohol pricing could leave tramps ‘dangerously lucid’ warn experts

all in thish tergetherWith a typical family bottle of ASDA Smart Price vodka set to double in cost, some tramps are already recalling what they did last night, and wandering what the smell is.

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Posted: May 25th, 2012
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