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Posts Tagged ‘drivers’

Non-queueing licence renewed for BMW drivers

The Department of Transport has confirmed that BMW drivers will continue to be exempt from queueing at roadworks for a further year. ‘We try to give a good half mile notice of lane closures so that non-BMWs can get out of the way, enabling BMWs to get straight to the bottleneck without waiting,’ a spokesman explained.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2015
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Shit parking ‘OK’ with hazard lights says council

Nantwich fire fighters also took to Twitter to retract their initial frustration about not being able to get through to fight a fire at B&M’s, as they made the same error as the council in missing the lights. ‘We always except shit, life threatening parking, but only if the lights are flashing’.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
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Drivers to spend that extra ten minutes abusing traffic wardens

‘Fantastic news,’ said London motorist Gary Barnes. ‘I’ll make sure I’m back at my car bang on time and hope that there’s a traffic warden around that I can tell to fuck off. I’ll be in my car bang on the ten-minute mark and drive off with the window down, arm out and middle finger extended.’

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2015
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Saudi woman banned from not driving driverless cars

The Saudi Arabian government has ruled that women must not drive Google’s new driverless cars, in a ruling that liberals have criticised for creating a law that appears to break itself. ‘Surely saying they must not not be driven by women means they must be driven by women,’ said one

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2014
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Mexican standoff at Weston-super-Mare roundabout reaches third day

only thing moving for three days was their eyes‘I think we’re going to be stuck here forever, and I’m running low on boiled sweets.’

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Posted: May 13th, 2013
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