‘Increasing the speed limit would reduce the journey time from the sun to the earth from its current sluggish 8 minutes and 19 seconds, bringing enormous economic benefits by increasing the amount of sunlight we receive and potentially lengthening the day.’ [read...]
Delivery company ‘White Van Logistix’ have announced they are redesigning the leaflets that their drivers leave behind when they are unable to make a delivery ‘to bring an unprecedented degree of honesty to the domestic parcel transportation solutions market’. [read...]
Highways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’. [read...]
‘We’ve been installing twat-detecting software in our cars that by-pass the normal rules of road courtesy,’ admitted a VW Audi spokesman, after issuing a recall on all 2.1 million of the UK’s Audi drivers. They will be required to book an appointment with their local VW Audi agent who will blast a hole the size of a pineapple in their heads using a 12 bore shotgun. [read...]
The Department of Transport has confirmed that BMW drivers will continue to be exempt from queueing at roadworks for a further year. ‘We try to give a good half mile notice of lane closures so that non-BMWs can get out of the way, [read...]
