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Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

Mr C banned from Billingsgate market for excessive ‘salmon’ requests

e's, obviouslyMr C, enigmatic frontman of early ’90s rave outfit The Shaman, has been handed a lifetime ban from Billingsgate fish market, lawyers representing the vendors’ association said today. The association lodged a formal complaint against the artist, real name Colin Angus, accusing him of habitually enquiring as to whether or not vendors stocked a certain product. He would then say ‘sorted’ and walk off without buying anything.

‘At first we all had a laugh about it,’ said one vendor. ‘He’d walk up to Archie in stall 48 and ask about salmon, then he’d hop over to Eddie on 37 and ask him the same thing. He’d just be walking from stall to stall all morning and we would just rip the piss out of him shouting ‘laaaaavely’ and ‘a ha ha ha haaaa’ and stuff like that, but after a few months it turned nasty. He’d walk up to old biddies after trading and start turning out their trolleys looking for salmon.’

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Mary Berry begins filming gritty new spin-off show, ‘Baking Bad’

compulsive chewingBeloved pastry matriarch and national baking supremo Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron and eggs for a gas mask and concentrated methylamine this winter, after the BBC commissioned a gritty new primetime cookery spinoff competition to be titled ‘Baking Bad’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Public to be trained to give drug advice to muggers

not to be taken on an empty stomach, so mug lunch off someone firstMembers of the public are to be trained to give pharmaceutical advice to drug-users before their medicine is stolen from them by junkies, under new proposals from the Department of Health.

‘It’s a thorny issue,’ said Bill Wilkins, one of the government’s top advisors on health-related issues, ‘but the reality is that the amount of prescription drugs being handed over on the street under duress has tripled in a year. Thousands of people being mugged at knifepoint for their painkillers are falling down badly in terms of their duty of care. Some of them are also falling down badly if they get stabbed, but that’s another issue’

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2014
More from Health



Prince Charles busted in ‘Operation Poppyseed’ dawn raid

Minutes later several horses were taken into care from Princess Anne’s mansion at Gatcombe Park after testing positive for heroin.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



MP warns against danger of children downloading e-cigarettes from internet

‘I’ve even heard of one 10-year-old who was rushed to A&E with ten megabytes of e-nicotine in his system.’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014
More from From The Archives