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Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

Lord Sewel criticised for coke-snorting technique

Several members of the House of Lords have openly criticised Lord Sewel after a shocking video revealed his ‘unacceptably poor’ technique for snorting cocaine from a prostitute’s breasts.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2015
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Keith Richards ‘may have taken performance enhancing drugs‏’

just put it all down to a spoon or two of brown sugarThe worlds of athletics and music have been thrown into confusion with the allegation that the Rolling Stones’ guitarist may have used banned substances.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2015
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Mo Farah first black man not to be stopped for drugs on a daily basis

‘We’d like to assure the public that he’s now stopped and tested for drugs on a very regular basis. Especially since he started going about with those two massive gold medallions.’

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2015
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Labour to show business-friendly credentials by snorting cocaine

Labour's only remaining option to get its confidence backStung by the revelation that its election campaign did not understand the worlds of enterprise and high finance, the contenders for the party leadership have vowed to prove their business credentials. This will start next week, with Yvette Cooper offering her naked buttocks as a cocaine-cruet for Andy Burnham.

‘In hindsight, our campaign lacked the energy that business-minded people can bring to the party,’ said Burnham, announcing the snorting programme. ‘We have overlooked the kind of people who aspire to prosperity, wealth and reckless behaviour involving snorting Class A drugs from leadership contenders’ naked flesh.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
More from Politics



Shock and confusion as Clegg says something sensible about drugs

back in the running for the student voteMuch to the surprise of those political correspondents who spend their time checking hens for teeth and pigs for wings, the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, has stunned analysts by suggesting that drug addiction is primarily a health rather than a criminal issue.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2015
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