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Posts Tagged ‘drugs’

Usain Bolt tests positive for a Morris Oxford

hoping they won't find out about that Riley ElfThe London Olympics were hit by another scandal last night as the world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, was found to have significant amounts of chromium in his blood after having ingested an entire Morris Oxford, Series VI.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2012
More from Sport



Ken Loach to direct ‘Happy Feet 3: The Heroin Years’

‘The kids are just going to lap up the combination of singing, dancing and intravenous injection of hard drugs,’ said film critic Mark Kermode.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment



Kent Police crush local pesto ring

public urged to be on the lookout for pestophilesKent Police were this afternoon formally congratulated on the outstanding success of Operation Ploughmans. Speaking from outside Downing St, Prime Minister David Cameron praised the two month operation as ‘a significant contribution’ to Britain’s home economic security.

From their operations base at Dover, police officers intercepted several tankers of Spanish olive oil, along with sizable quantities of Macedonian pine nuts. Maps in the trucks confirmed police suspicions that the raw materials were destined for industrial warehouses in the so-called ‘Kitchen Garden’ of Surrey. Here they would be mixed with locally grown basil and parmesan cheese which was to be flown over from Italy this weekend.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2011
More from UK News



Limiting shoppers to two packs of painkillers ‘preventing thousands of suicides a year’

‘I just wanted to end it all, but when the checkout girl told me I could only buy two packs of painkillers, it felt too much like hard work to go round the store again so I decided to put my life back together instead.’

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Massive binge leads cultural leaders to call for legalisation of drugs

Branson pickledMr Branson called for a rethink of current drugs policies and asked if someone wouldn’t mind popping down to the garage to get ‘some of those crisps in the big green packet’.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2011
More from World News