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Posts Tagged ‘Duchess of Cambridge’

Pope fails to give birth

Tens of thousands of Brazilian pilgrims were left disappointed today, by the pontiff’s inability to produce a Royal Baby. Although Pope Francis promised to bring people to the ‘open arms of Christ the Redeemer’, there is a sense that the Duchess of Cambridge has ‘raised the bar’ for global figures.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2013
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PM unveils curbs on ‘exploitative, degrading, irritating’ Royal baby coverage

determined to shut down access to baby pornEvery household in the UK is to have endless, vacuous reporting of the birth and infancy of the Royal baby blocked by their internet provider unless they choose to receive it, David Cameron has announced.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2013
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Kate ‘Kate Kate’

Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate.

“Kate Kate Kate,” Kate Kate Kate, Kate Kate, Kate Kate.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2013
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Alan Titchmarsh and Alistair Darling rushed in to ‘bore the Royal baby out’

don't get him started on the fecundity of naturePrince William has enlisted the services of gardening guru Alan Titchmarsh, with help from former chancellor Alistair Darling, in a desperate bid to induce the future monarch out of Kate Middleton’s womb by the magic of tedium.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2013
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Royal baby to be delivered by hereditary obstetrician

The Royal Family is reported to be delighted on learning that the post of obstetrician at St Mary’s Hospital is an ancient title passed down through the male line since the Middle Ages. ‘It feels so appropriate,’ said a Palace spokesman, gritting his teeth.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2013
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