I am writing to apologise for my part in the recent unfortunate car accident/appalling racial slur* and for any death/injury/offence* that you may have suffered as a result of my reckless driving/outdated colonial attitudes*
(*delete as appropriate). [read...]
The announcement of a genuine wonder drug has thrown the Daily Express community into confusion, with several readers threatening to boycott it. ‘The way this news has been leaked is an outrage’, said one reader. [read...]
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were left scrambling today to find a last-minute stand-in to fill the all-important ‘Embarrassing Family Member’ role. The role has traditionally been filled by HRH the Duke of Edinburgh, and was due to be filled this Saturday by Meghan’s Dad, [read...]
But one doctor has pointed out that the scheme might be impractical; ‘Death for most people is a once in a lifetime experience, so it might well be hard for Di to re-die without some significant scientific advances…’ [read...]
Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen ‘wishes to recognise the fragile state of the economy’ by downgrading her Jubilee celebrations next year from diamond to diamonique. [read...]
