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Posts Tagged ‘durex’

Last of the Durex Sisters dies at 93

Boy in Company B had one hell of a bugleBetty Durex, the last surviving member of the celebrated wartime singing trio the Durex Sisters, has died at the age of 93 at her condominium in Florida. Paying tribute, Prime Minister David Cameron reminded reporters ‘It was said that her image was in every pub toilet in the land. And there aren’t many people who can claim that.’

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2015
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God impregnates fish

moves in mysterious waysA virginal sawfish from Florida has become the most recent example of immaculate conception since the Almighty’s ‘barely legal’ fumblings with a 14 year old from Bethlehem. Why God has taken over two thousand years to manifest his zoophilia is unclear and he has expressed no interest in taking custody of seven small fry.

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2015
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50+ adults re-live their youth by ‘Swimming with condoms’

surf johnnies ahoy!Whilst many of today’s trendy youngsters dream of ‘Swimming with dolphins’ in US-style theme parks, the 50+ generation is increasingly remembering youthful days spent in local rivers and canals ‘Swimming with condoms’ and now lament the disappearance of the french letter experience.

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2013
More from Environment

Consternation as Barry Scott appointed UK sexual health Czar

Following news that the makers of Cillit Bang are to buy the Durex company, health officials announced that Barry Scott, frontman for the popular cleaning product, is to play a key role in advising on the nation’s sexual health.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2010
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