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Posts Tagged ‘dwarves’

‘World’s tallest man’ revealed to be three dwarves under a raincoat

little big manThe man hitherto thought to be the tallest in the world is in fact three extremely short men stood on each other’s shoulders under a large raincoat, it has emerged. The swindling ‘giant’ was making a personal appearance at the opening ceremony of a multi-storey car park in Basingstoke, when ‘he’ tripped over a kerb and the duping dwarves came tumbling out.

The three later told the local press that they had originally been a two-man act but had to extend it to three because the original pairing barely came to six feet tall. Tabloids are already referring to the scandal as ‘Faux Height and the Three Dwarves’.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2014
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‘Fruity wizards’ told to avoid Russia

The UK Foreign Office has advised all members of the Fellowship of the Ring not to travel to Russia, where new laws based on the belief that sexual orientation is determined by early exposure to fantasy novels, it is feared, may soon extend to ‘fruity wizards’, ‘effete elves’ and ‘dwarves in sailor suits’.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Composer arrested after debut performance of ‘Symphony for bassoon and naked dwarfs’

fluttering and tonguing deemed particularly inappropriate, but strangely movingThe piece is notoriously difficult to stage, involving as it does some 30 naked midgets writhing convincingly over a Renard model 220 bassoon.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2009
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