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Posts Tagged ‘Ealing’

85-year-old greengrocer named as Jihadi John

Friends and neighbours in the Ealing were surprised today to find out that former greengrocer Albert Thomas, 85, was the ruthless ISIS executioner ‘Jihadi John’. ‘He was a quiet bloke,’ said one, ‘Not really the type you would expect to decapitate hostages in cold blood, video it and then broadcast pictures around the world.’

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Posted: Mar 2nd, 2015
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West London terrorised by ‘trick or treat’ interpretive street dance gang

Families across the London borough of Ealing were left paralysed with fear, unable to go outside last night after receiving a visit from a group of synchronised trick-or-treaters who performed complex dance interpretations of ‘Double-dip recession’, ‘Losing your job’, and ‘House reposession’ on their gravel drives if not given appropriate treats.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2011
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