The Earth has announced plans to appoint a new advertising agency, following the failure of the current agency – Assorted Greens – to hit any of their targets in the past 50 years. “We’re looking for an agency to make the Earth sexy”, [read...]
Climate scientists have concluded that it is the amount of humans on the planet that is the cause of climate change, not what they do. ‘If there were, say, a dozen or so humans then things wouldn’t be so bad,’ [read...]
A scientist has suggested that there is an elevated chance of a large piece of space debris smashing into the Earth at any time. Mike Jones, a junior astrophysicist, said today that in the short period he has been employed on asteroid watch duties he’d noticed a near miss ‘virtually every night.’ [read...]
Fred Helm, Chairman of the Flat Earth Society, has announced that the venerable society has gone ‘truly global – we’ve got branches all around the globe,’ he said today. [read...]
The planet Earth has confirmed today that it won’t be enclosing a round robin letter detailing the high and low points of its year this Christmas. This was ‘due to me being unable to condense the low points onto two sides of A4,’ [read...]
