The prime minster and Home Secretary Priti Patel have announced a recruitment drive for new police roles, to reduce rising crime rates on Britain’s Soap Operas. EastEnders currently only features one ex-cop, Jack Branning, and he was bent. [read...]
Although the Supreme Leader of Iran has himself never seen an episode of Middle-Eastenders, he has been informed by his agents in the UK that this is the safest face-saving comment to make when faced with a homicidal maniac. [read...]
Brexit hangs in the balance once again as it’s announced that Albert Square’s residents are determined to stay in the EU. Unofficial spokesman Phil Mitchell cited ‘well handy flights to Lanzarote and cheap European booze’ [read...]
EastEnders fans are in shock this morning after a show insider confirmed rumours that in this year’s Christmas Day episode a character is to be seen smiling. One cast member said: ‘It’s thrown us all into turmoil as nobody can quite believe it really. [read...]
The BBC has made the shock admission that the latest Eastenders plot line is just another tedious metaphor for BREXIT. This week the Taylor family matriarch saw a terrible decision of many months ago culminate in the possible loss of the family dog, [read...]
