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Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family
It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery. [read...]
Tagged Eastenders
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Soap fans divided over plans to kill off ‘Theresa May’ character
Fans of the long-running TV soap opera Westenders have expressed mixed feelings after a plot spoiler emerged online over the weekend. It is now said to be common knowledge that the long-running character ‘Theresa May’ [read...]
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Boris Johnson promises new police roles to begin ‘within weeks’ on UK Soaps
The prime minster and Home Secretary Priti Patel have announced a recruitment drive for new police roles, to reduce rising crime rates on Britain’s Soap Operas. EastEnders currently only features one ex-cop, Jack Branning, and he was bent. [read...]
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“Just leave it – he ain’t worf it,” says Ayatolllah Khamenei
Although the Supreme Leader of Iran has himself never seen an episode of Middle-Eastenders, he has been informed by his agents in the UK that this is the safest face-saving comment to make when faced with a homicidal maniac. [read...]
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Eastenders ‘to opt out of Brexit’
Brexit hangs in the balance once again as it’s announced that Albert Square’s residents are determined to stay in the EU. Unofficial spokesman Phil Mitchell cited ‘well handy flights to Lanzarote and cheap European booze’ [read...]