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Posts Tagged ‘Eastenders’

BBC to make programme names brutally honest

A spokesperson for the BBC said that title changes already under consideration include replacing ‘Top Gear’ with ‘Three Big Kids Dicking Around in Cars’, and renaming ‘Coast’ to ‘Enthusiastic Scottish Man Waving His Arms Around’, whilst ‘EastEnders’ will almost certainly become ‘Moaning Gits Depressing Everyone to Death’.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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Eastenders actress runs out of fags

Chain-smoking Eastenders character Dot Branning says she is ready to return to the long running soap after finally running out of fags. Back in February Branning had told executive producer Lorraine Newman that she was just nipping round the back of the Queen Vic for a ‘a quick draw’ and hadn’t been seen since.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2012
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Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family

'leave it Santa, it ain't worth it'It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery.

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Posted: Dec 23rd, 2011
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Out-of-control BBC admits it has ‘no idea’ how to finish EastEnders

After a tense meeting between scriptwriters and chief executives, the BBC today conceded it still had ‘no workable plan’ for concluding Eastenders. The programme was commissioned in 1985 as a twelve-episode crime drama focusing on the murder of Reg Cox. That was doubled after the first six episodes had been broadcast, when it became apparent [...]

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011
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Hundreds commit suicide after watching uplifting episode of Eastenders

‘The programme featured disturbing scenes of family unity and gratuitous and offensive contentment.’

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2011
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