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Posts Tagged ‘Easter’

NHS resurrection performance slammed

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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Outrage in Calvary as emergency services took three days to respond

Angry residents are demanding an immediate investigation into the case of a crucified man with serious injuries to his hands, feet and side who had to wait three days for paramedics to arrive on the scene.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2013
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Unholy row as Benedict returns to reclaim the papacy in time for Easter

Pope Benedict strode into St Peter’s Square yesterday, fully refreshed after his Lenten sabbatical and announced that he was ready to take the reins of the papacy once more. With a fresh ear piercing, his skull cap set back on his head at a jaunty angle and a giggling nun on each arm, it was clear that the break from the burden of office had taken years off the former pontiff as he vigorously shoved aside pilgrims on his way back to the Vatican.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2013
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Hot cross bun retailer goes into administration after disastrous 2 for 1 offer

Nationwide hot cross bun retailer Hot Cross Bun World has called in the administrators after a disastrous Easter period that saw falling sales and plummeting revenues, putting the future of 160 stores and 1,200 jobs in jeopardy.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2013
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Unlucky man has all his Christmases come at once

‘Shopping for 37 Christmases for all your friends and families is a nightmare,’ revealed Nito, who is still suffering the terrible mental side effects of concentrated exposure to months’ worth of novelty Christmas songs.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2012
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