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Posts Tagged ‘Easyjet’

Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to and from the UK

guaranteed to stay up better than the roubleIn a move, aggressively resisted by the RAF, the Russian Federation Air Force (Voyenno-Vozdushnye, Silly Rossii or ‘VVS’ for short) has attempted to muscle in on the lucrative budget air routes normally dominated by firms like ‘Easyjet’ and ‘Discount Flying Death Tubes’.

Using their superior reputation for customer welfare, the VVS will offer a range of services including military issue ‘nibbles’, stewardesses in camo paint and the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber ‘close up’.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2015
More from Business, World News



Cameron appeals for ‘calm’ so he can at least finish one holiday this year

wearing Bermuda shorts and ready to go again at a moment's noticeDavid Cameron has today called for ‘calm’ throughout the world and at home, after yet another holiday had to be interrupted.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014
More from From The Archives



easyJet to introduce pre-cancelled flights

you can stay at home and look up your destination on the internet once the booking's completeIn a bold move to reduce the amount of time that passengers spend waiting for flights that never take off, Easyjet are to introduce the pre-cancelled flight. Hours of frustrating and pointless waiting will be eliminated and delays could be made a thing of the past. ‘Flights will be booked as normal with the added choice of pre-cancellation for a small fee,’ said an Easyjet spokesperson for a small fee. ‘Customers will no longer need to wait around in the airport living off overpriced takeaway food and choking on their own sense of injustice.

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2012
More from Business



Mixed reaction to Budget Time-Travel Operator’s 2011 Timeport

Budget time-travel operator EasyTime’s timeport in 2011 may be good news for local businesses, but tourists from the future are disappointed with its lack of proximity to major world events in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Budget carrier launches ObeseyJet, airline of choice for the larger passenger

Budget airline easyJet has caused controversy by launching a dedicated service for today’s bigger-boned passenger, promising roomy seats, numerous cup holders and a menu boasting the best in foil-sealed freshness.

‘All we’re doing is recognising the growing demand for wide-haul flights,’ said Sir Stelios Haji-Ioannou, founder of easyJet. ‘Our customers don’t want to be patronised by standard airlines charging them for two seats. We treat all our travellers like grown outs – sorry, grown ups. We give them one big seat at twice the price plus charges. Oh, and insulin. All the insulin they can eat.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2010
More from World News