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Posts Tagged ‘Ebola’

Ebola can cause/cure cancer

Scientists have discovered a correlation between the final stages of the virus ebola and cancer. It is believed that only those with particularly nasty strains of ebola are at risk. Cancer clinics in West Africa are already stretched, and policy makers are suggesting some international aid aimed at fighting ebola should be redirected against the new threat.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2014
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$1bn to fight Ebola, if Ebola agrees to be a bit more ‘Islamist-y’‏

a threat to world stability even worse than Nouri Al-MalikiPresident Obama has offered to send 3,000 American troops to Liberia to help fight the virus outbreak, on the proviso that Ebola adopts a more Jihadist approach. In turn the US industrial arms complex has said it has billions of dollars worth of weaponry waiting to be sold the moment Ebola declares a fundamentalist Islamic state, grows a beard or ‘discovers oil’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
More from Health



State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a dangerous virus that was supposed to be someone else’s problem arrived on Great Britain’s shores last night, having entered the country via a consignment of infected Apple devices. The virus is said to have already reached epidemic status.

The BBC have reacted by broadcasting public service messages giving information on how to delete the ‘e-Bono virus’ from infected phones and iPods, though nothing can be done about alleviating the early-onset symptoms, which include ear infections, drowsiness, and ‘ranting about Bono’s wrap-around specs’.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



US Ebola missionary saved by ‘advanced experimental prayer’

US missionary Dr Kent Bradley was said today to be recovering at home after being given the all-clear after his prayers beat a nasty case of Ebola he picked up while working as a missionary in Liberia.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2014
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Murray asks fans to choose this year’s niggling injury

Andy Murray has launched a competition on his website asking for fans to choose his niggling injury for this year’s Wimbledon Championship, now that he is well into the later stages of the tournament where he starts to play better players and he goes through a few rough patches in games.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2014
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