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48 trillion Nectar points to be put into the economy to boost recovery
‘This recovery package will stimulate growth and ensure no-one misses out on double points when they spend over a tenner on personal hygiene products.’ [read...]
Tagged economy
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Satire now Britain’s only growth industry
Despite the current slowdown and impending cessation of all economic activity in Brexit Britain, one industry is enjoying an unprecedented boom. Satire could account for over 30% of GDP by 2022 and most of the new jobs, [read...]
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Rainbows cease to pay dividends
As a number of national industries and businesses go into administration, Britain’s shareholders have been forced to take an unpleasant reality check. Where once a magical unicorn had managed to fill everyone’s coffers, this time it merely pooped in their shoes and ate their chequebooks. [read...]
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‘£4,300 does not include the £1,800 you are already worse off’ warns Osborne
George Osborne has warned that Brexit would leave families £4,300 worse off ‘as from today’ and does not include the £1,800 you are already worse off by since he became Chancellor. [read...]
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UK economy now based on sugar-guzzling fatties
With the manufacturing industry in decline and the public sector is sold off for ‘spare parts’, there will be a significant expansion in ‘those in need of a sugar rush’. It does however mean that 70% of the UK’s output will now be based on school tuck-shop revue; [read...]