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Posts Tagged ‘economy’

Restoration amateur ruins UK economy

going to give 110% from now on, like, d'uhThe man, in his early 40s, was reportedly upset at the way the economy had deteriorated over the years and took it upon himself to ‘restore’ it, with disastrous results.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2012
More from UK News



DFS sale signals green shoots of economic recovery

In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are well advanced to launch a massive cut price sale. Photographs of disconcertingly small lounging adults and children have been taken and advertising space has already been booked to carry uplifting messages of substantial savings across the range of comfortable armchairs, and two and three seaters, some in leather.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Homeopathic economist suggests injecting ‘up to £1’ into economy

Renowned homeopathic economist Doctor Stephen Harliton has criticised recent attempts to solve the international financial crisis. “Conventional treatments don’t work, asking people to spend less is too rational.”

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2011
More from News In Brief



48 trillion Nectar points to be put into the economy to boost recovery

you deserve it, you really do‘This recovery package will stimulate growth and ensure no-one misses out on double points when they spend over a tenner on personal hygiene products.’

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2011
More from Business, UK News



Republicans oppose Obama’s dinner plans

always a doggy bag for the poorRepublicans said President’s dinner plans amounted to ‘nothing more than a reheating of last night’s leftovers’.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2011
More from Politics, World News