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Posts Tagged ‘economy’

Bank of England sells unwanted gold reserves after seeing daytime TV ad

The Bank of England is making another bid to boost the UK’s economic recovery, this time by sending off the nation’s remaining gold reserves to one of those companies who advertise on daytime TV. The move could raise as much as £400 to help refinance the economy.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2009
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Bank of England forced to delay cash injection after Economy Pump breaks down

The Bank of England’s plans to pump another £50bn into the economy, in order to keep interest rates unchanged, have been put on hold this evening after their 200-year-old Economy Pump broke down under the strain.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2009
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‘obamanomics’ may be an omics too far, warns pun Czar

President Obama’s fiscal stimulus package to revive the world economy was called into doubt when headline writers discovered just how difficult it was to spell or pronounce Obamanomics.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2009
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Woman next to Brown on flight home ‘just wouldn’t f***ing shut up’ about the economy

She just wouldn't give it a restGordon Brown emerged bleary eyed this morning from his flight home from Washington vowing to review the new Government rules that every official foreign visit must now be made using economy class. For the eight hour flight the Prime Minister had been seated next to a member of the public with very strong views about the current crisis, and who was full of ideas about what should be done.

‘I mean I don’t know why you just don’t sort it all out, that’s what I’d like to know, just sort it out, I mean you lot got us into this mess, it’s up to you to get it all out again…’

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2009
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Government to kick start economy with money plants

Alistair Darling announced plans today to kick start the economy by providing small to medium sized businesses with money plants. Darling claims that the plants will provide an injection of £50 and £20 notes into the economy which will boost spending an increase consumer confidence.

However the plan has been heavily criticised by the opposition and business experts who say that there is no such thing as ‘a money plant’ and that the Chancellor is clearly suffering some sort of severe mental breakdown.

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Posted: Jan 24th, 2009
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