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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Balls’

Nigeria comes to Britain’s aid over deficit

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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UK deafness epidemic ‘may last up to 122 days’

An outbreak of deafness affecting four million people in the UK could last as long as 122 days, says NHS England. ‘We don’t expect any improvement until May 8th,’ a NHS spokeswoman said.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2015
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Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United

Time's upIn a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, a Labour spokesman insisted it would take a long-term economic plan to improve results, clone Ryan Giggs and change the word ‘United’ to ‘City’ on the stationery.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
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Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
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Ed Balls to be questioned over Diana’s death

Balls maintains he was in was in Calais at the time in question, purchasing large quantities of wine and cigarettes in order to claim back in expenses at the UK value. Should he be convicted of the crime, it is likely he will face a public tea-bagging by anyone who was affected by the tragedy.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
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