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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Balls’

Miliband triumphs/fails

Mr Miliband's banana was ['very tasty, thank you'/'unavailable for comment']Their mother said the best man had [triumphed/been utterly humiliated].

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Posted: May 12th, 2015
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Voters urged to keep their receipts

Voters have been told they should keep their receipt when they visit the polling station for May’s General Election. ‘If they get home, look on the box and realise they have a Government they don’t actually want, they should be able to return it for a full refund or exchange within 28 days,’ Dr Sarah McBeach, a polling expert said. ‘But only if they can produce their receipt.’

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2015
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Cameron ‘not to play with rough boys like Miliband and Balls’, says his wife

David Cameron ran off the House of Commons playground in floods of tears at Prime Minister’s playtime yesterday. It is alleged that Ed Miliband was overheard taunting Mr Cameron, saying he was ‘dodgy, posh and probably had fleas.’

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2015
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Ed Balls to put name badges at the centre of Labour’s economic policy

Ed Balls has announced that he is to repair Labour’s damaged relationship with business leaders by making name badges compulsory.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2015
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Nigeria comes to Britain’s aid over deficit

Osborne has entered a 100% risk free business relationship’ with Dr Umaru Shinkafi Egwuatu, director of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust Fund, for a share in a $600 million construction contract that Nigerian officials over-invoiced to the tune of $635.5 million with the intention of sharing the remaining $35.5 million among themselves

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2015
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