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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Balls’

Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United

Time's upIn a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, a Labour spokesman insisted it would take a long-term economic plan to improve results, clone Ryan Giggs and change the word ‘United’ to ‘City’ on the stationery.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
More from Sport



Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
More from Politics



Ed Balls to be questioned over Diana’s death

Balls maintains he was in was in Calais at the time in question, purchasing large quantities of wine and cigarettes in order to claim back in expenses at the UK value. Should he be convicted of the crime, it is likely he will face a public tea-bagging by anyone who was affected by the tragedy.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



50% Tax Rate could ‘seriously delay next Gary Barlow album’

'If you stay by my side, we can rule the world,' says Ed BallsEd Balls’ announcement that he would reinstate the 50% tax rate has raised fresh concerns about top talent leaving Britain should Labour return to power at the next election.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



GMB refuses to fund Shadow Cabinet’s ‘mid-life crisis’

Explaining their decision to cut its Labour donation from £1.2m to £150,000, a spokesman for the GMB said: ‘Our members are no longer willing to subsidise bass guitar lessons, the constant Googling of fetish clothing and an £84 a day ‘weed habit’ and 300,000 annual porn hits.’

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2013
More from News In Brief