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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Balls’

Miliband ‘crestfallen’ after failed operation to remove Balls

began aching as soon as he became Labour leaderLabour leader Ed Miliband is said to be ‘disappointed’ after waking up in hospital to find that doctors have been unable to remove his Balls.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2011
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Andy McNab to replace Ed Miliband as Labour seek more recognisable leader

Labour has announced today that former SAS soldier and successful novelist Andy McNab is to replace Ed Miliband as Leader in a desperate bid for the party to have a more recognisable figurehead.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2011
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Double entendre fans delighted by Balls leak

Lovers of risqué puns could barely contain their delight today as the Ed Balls scandal continued to simmer.

Guffaws were heard when Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, refused to be blamed for the fact that Balls had been thrust into the spotlight.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2011
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Ed Balls must wear Hannibal Lecter mask at all times, says Miliband

'chomping at the bit' in his new roleThe Shadow Chancellor is regarded as so dangerous that whenever he appears in public he must wear a face mask, straitjacket and be wheeled everywhere on a trolley.

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2011
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Miliband triumphs/fails

Mr Miliband's banana was ['very tasty, thank you'/'unavailable for comment']Their mother said the best man had [triumphed/been utterly humiliated].

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2010
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