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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Miliband’

Tony Blair ready to challenge Labour leadership ‘within 45 minutes’

In a frank interview the former Labour Party leader denied he had been critical of Ed Miliband and his leadership of the party. ‘Sure I might have said he is a useless fuckwit, but everyone says that,’ he said, adding, ‘and I might have suggested that it should be possible for any half-brained, bleeding heart, know nothing politician to look better than that useless twat Cameron, but obviously I was referring to Nick Clegg, who I don’t think should lead the Labour Party. Or any party, come to think of it.’

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
More from News In Brief


Derren Brown unmasked as Santa

In a disappointing start to the New Year, the illusionist and all-round mentalist has revealed that he was behind the most elaborate ruse to be performed upon UK TV viewers. Mr Brown explained that through a series mind games, he had convinced a sceptical public that Father Christmas was real, pigs could fly and that Ed Miliband was a plausible Leader of the Opposition.

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2014
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Miliband to acquire white van and visible bumcrack

‘Send ‘em back where they belong, is what I say, subject to the Human Rights Act and existing EU Legislation and the employment needs of a newly recovering economy.’

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2014
More from Politics


Labour Mission Control ‘fear we may have lost contact’ with Miliband

‘We’ve been trying to get through to Ed for some time,’ said a member of the shadow cabinet, ‘but we’re not sure messages are getting through. They seem to take about 28 minutes to reach him and apparently about the same to return, but that’s supposition, nobody’s waited that long so far.’

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
More from News In Brief


Miliband declares victory in US Midterms‏

Apparently Mr Miliband 'whupped their asses real good'Much to the surprise and delight of the Labour faithful, their leader announced sweeping gains in the US Senate today. Despite being separated by a political ideology and 3000 miles of Atlantic Ocean, Ed Miliband was able to take the credit for the Republican Party’s recent success and for becoming the first British female solo artist to have five number one singles in the UK.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2014
More from Politics


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