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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Miliband’

Miliband: ‘I will pass law to make collecting Star Wars figures compulsory’

Ed Miliband, leader of the opposition and life-long Jedi commander has stated that if he becomes Prime Minister, he will make collection of Star Wars figures non-optional.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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Ed Miliband to put Alan Sugar in all schools

In a bold policy commitment, the Labour leader has said he would ensure all school leavers have an exit interview with Lord Sugar under a new ‘Apprentice guarantee’.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2015
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Cameron ‘not to play with rough boys like Miliband and Balls’, says his wife

David Cameron ran off the House of Commons playground in floods of tears at Prime Minister’s playtime yesterday. It is alleged that Ed Miliband was overheard taunting Mr Cameron, saying he was ‘dodgy, posh and probably had fleas.’

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2015
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‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2015
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Facebook to be split into ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ divisions

'quantitative poking' button coming soonFollowing its plans to break up Britain’s banks, the EU has announced controversial proposals to separate Facebook into two distinct ‘Sanctimonious Bullsh*t’ and ‘Stalking’ units.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2015
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