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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Miliband’

Twitter gaffe about miners sends Miliband into lead

lead could be reversed if Ed eats another bacon sandwichAn unlikely Twitter phenomenon and an illiterate Conservative candidate have combined to propel Labour fifteen points clear in the latest YouGov poll.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2015
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Cameron’s ‘open neck’ approach seals the deal with swinging voters

gets Poldark's voteDashing David Cameron has gaily abandoned his jacket, tossed off his tie, rolled up his sleeves and exposed his fleshy forearms to openly signal that he is right up for ‘doing the business’ with millions of Britain’s uncommitted swinger voters who have gone with multiple parties in the past.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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Miliband dubsteps into the future with style tips from Skrillex

down wiv da kidz, innit, to winnitIn an attempt to appeal to the ‘yoof’ vote, Labour leader Ed Miliband has enlisted the help of well know young person and bass-dropper Skrillex.

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2015
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Hard Working Families to be given extra votes

it's all about getting up again tomorrowNow that the entire General Election revolves around glowing generalities, a cross-party committee of MPs has agreed that greater representation should be given to positive, abstract concepts. So with the last day of voter registration looming fast, all spare votes will be distributed among those impossible-to-prove beliefs such as the ‘common good’, ‘patriotism’ and ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2015
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Nicola Sturgeon to ride joint-favourite ‘Mister Ed’ at Scottish Grand National

‘I rode Mister Ed on Thursday’ said Sturgeon. ‘He didn’t seem to like me riding him so hard at first. Then I explained to him that if it came down to a photo-finish with the joint-favourite ‘Dangerous Dave’ he would need my help to win and he soon got the bit between his teeth.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
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