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Posts Tagged ‘Ed Miliband’

Chancellor now understands ‘why we cry’

surely just a pilot project which shouldn't be allowed outside NewhamScientists today expressed excitement that the pioneering android Chancellor, Gideon11, may have for the first time experienced something equivalent to human emotion.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2013
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Government hails success of best ever April Fools ‘Benefits Cut’ prank

proposed cut to bike allowance for unemployed also just a jokeNo. 10 Downing Street has confirmed in a statement early this morning that a raft of cuts to benefits due to kick in today were merely an elaborate prank played out for the last few months on the British public, and that the drastic measures would not now go ahead.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2013
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Miliband call for Manson tax provokes Gothic Sulk

Manson has called on all goths to intensify their campaign against society by spending longer than usual locked away in the darkness of their bedrooms and being stroppier to their loving parents.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2013
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Prime Minister Miliband would ‘un-invade Iraq’

‘We’ll send troops into Iraq with what I call weapons of mass construction – bricks, nails and gaffer tape – to undo the invasion with a Saddam lookalike to run the country. It will be as good as new at best, or as good as Slough at worse.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2013
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Ventriloquist secret of Party Leaders’ autocue free speeches

Top ventriloquist, Alan Reeder, has blown the whistle on our party leaders’ note free speeches by revealing that he is, quite literally, the voice behind David Cameron and Ed Miliband.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2012
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