NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Edinburgh’

Berlusconi doing community service inseminating pandas

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was recently sentenced to a year’s community service for tax fraud, has found work inseminating a giant panda at Edinburgh zoo, following failed attempts to mate her with a male panda. The zoo and the 77-year-old billionaire’s lawyers said that they were satisfied that the ruling was a win-win, allowing him to remain both politically and sexually active.

‘Tian Tian’s hormone levels had been falling drastically and at first she spurned his advances, but this didn’t deter Mr Berlusconi in the least,’ said Charles Osborne, director of breeding at Edinburgh. ‘He used all his experience and charm to woo her successfully and, fingers crossed, we hope to be able to announce shortly that she is expecting, er, something.’

Read more >

Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
More from World News



Scots’ Justice Secretary to release Pandas on compassionate grounds

Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Scottish Widows lady told ‘Get over it’

The attractive lady who has been dressed in black in the Scottish Widows adverts for the past couple of decades has been told to get over her husband’s death and move on.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 26th, 2006
More from Business