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Gove to reintroduce school bullies
Education secretary Michael Gove has defended his decision to reintroduce formal bullying into secondary schools, and rejected accusations it would mean ‘two tiers before bedtime.’ [read...]
Tagged Education
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Government: Academize? Sorry we meant to say, ‘privatise’.
Successful privatisation of the state sector has unfortunately been misinterpreted as an attempt to turn secondary schools into a cross between ‘Hogwarts and Jamie Oliver’s kitchen’. [read...]
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All childhood aspirations to be erased
‘Unachievable’ career ambitions of youngsters are to be treated with memory-loss drugs to improve the alignment of hopes with reality, a Government spokesman has confirmed. [read...]
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Academies ‘just a posh word for schools’, expert admits
An expert formerly employed by the Department of Education, now thought to have gone rogue, admitted today that the government’s much-vaunted ‘academies’ programme consists solely of calling schools by another word that means the same thing. [read...]
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Government confirms that ‘Gove’ is not to be used as a verb
A memorandum sent to all government departments has cautioned against use of the word ‘Gove’ as a verb, such as in the phrase ‘to Gove the department’, ‘the education system’s completely Goved up’ and ‘what the Gove is he doing with freedom of information’. [read...]