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Posts Tagged ‘election’

Trumpton constituency “winnable”, say UKIP

The marginal constituency of Trumpton East & Chigley is “absolutely on our list of winnable seats”, says UKIP, after persuading local residents that it is actually a real party, not something made up to entertain children.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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Countdown to general election: the nation rejoices

The by-elections in Clacton and Heywood have led to bunting being put up and spontaneous dancing in the streets across the land as it finally dawned on the electorate that a general election is only months away.

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2014
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Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United

Time's upIn a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a decent centre half and holding midfielder would be sufficient, a Labour spokesman insisted it would take a long-term economic plan to improve results, clone Ryan Giggs and change the word ‘United’ to ‘City’ on the stationery.

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Posted: Sep 23rd, 2014
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David Miliband readied for last minute substitution in Election shoot-out

Labour Party chiefs, inspired by Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal’s last minute switch of goalkeeper in the Holland v Costa Rica World Cup quarter-final, are preparing a last gasp replacement of their own in the run up to next year’s General Election.

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2014
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Cameron sparks outrage by posing for photos with ‘dead politician’

Photographs of David Cameron posing with a dead politician have been condemned as ‘heartless’ by family and friends of the deceased today. Some of the photographs clearly show Mr. Cameron laughing at the stricken body while others show him ignoring the lifeless corpse altogether.

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Posted: May 10th, 2014
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