Festive blow as Turkeys to get right to vote for Christmas
It is believed the Government will formally announce later this week that Turkeys are to be given the right to vote for Christmas.
Posted: Nov 4th, 2010
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Posts Tagged ‘election’
Convicts demand right to elect own MPs
Following the landmark decision to give prisoners the vote, representatives of the prison community are now demanding their own members of parliament.
Posted: Nov 3rd, 2010
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Queuing drinkers ‘let down’, says Friday night report
The government’s new Drinking Commission said the law should be changed so anyone queuing when last orders is called could still exercise their right to become inebriated and start a fight in a chip shop or over who was in the taxi queue first.
Posted: May 24th, 2010
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Bin Laden fed up with canvassers constantly knocking at cave door
Osama bin Laden today spoke out against what he called ‘the West’s evil, unremitting campaign of persecution’ waged by local party activists determined to secure his support in Thursday’s general election.
‘If it’s not the Tories, it’s Labour or the Liberal Democrats,’ fumed the al-Qaeda leader today. ‘All day every day I’m up and down to the cave door like a bloody yo-yo. I moved out here for a quiet life, you know, but every two minutes it’s ‘Can we count on your vote on Thursday, Mr bin Laden?’ Don’t tell me none of them saw my sign saying no door-to-door callers, free newspapers or intelligence agents.’
Posted: May 4th, 2010
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Electorate can use ‘reasonable force’ to defend against political candidates
A landmark ruling has overturned the ban on physical restraint being used on politicians during the election campaign. ‘Voters are now legally entitled to punch, kick and scratch anyone turning up at their door and asking for their vote,’ said the Lord Chief Justice, ‘It is clear provocation.’
The decision follows a number of high profile cases in which prospective parliamentary candidates were beaten to a bloody pulp on the doorstep. ‘When I opened my door this madman began hitting me with a list of manifesto pledges,’ said voter, Mrs Maureen Grebe, ‘When he started trying to kiss my baby I did what anyone would do in my situation. I twatted him round the head with a cricket bat.’
Posted: Apr 9th, 2010
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