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Posts Tagged ‘election’

Green Party’s Natalie Bennett offers to mediate over Ukraine

Joking that she had recently been fighting ‘her own cold-war’ she has promised to create jobs, housing and economic stability for both countries with the addition of 17 million new jobs and luxury housing for those made homeless by the conflict.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2015
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Voters urged to keep their receipts

Voters have been told they should keep their receipt when they visit the polling station for May’s General Election. ‘If they get home, look on the box and realise they have a Government they don’t actually want, they should be able to return it for a full refund or exchange within 28 days,’ Dr Sarah McBeach, a polling expert said. ‘But only if they can produce their receipt.’

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2015
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UN asked to intervene in Obama-Cameron ‘bromance’

US and UK set to veto any end to 'relations'The UN has been called upon to act ‘swiftly and decisively’ amid worsening affection between Barack Obama and David Cameron at the Whitehouse last week. Public decency is said to be in tatters after lurid scenes of togetherness between the US president and his ‘bro’ were aired on prime-time television with no warning. Rumours that Cameron referred to Obama as his ‘homie’ are mercifully unconfirmed.

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2015
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Election campaigns kick start five months of uninterrupted lying

best to hide under the sofa until it's all overWith fingers crossed, fidgeting and winking to the camera, Prime Minister David Cameron fired the starting pistol to the longest sustained stream of affluent effluent in electoral history. He was swiftly joined by the leaders of all the main political parties keen to shovel on extra dollops of steaming manifesto do-do’s and don’t-don’ts.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2015
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Trumpton constituency “winnable”, say UKIP

The marginal constituency of Trumpton East & Chigley is “absolutely on our list of winnable seats”, says UKIP, after persuading local residents that it is actually a real party, not something made up to entertain children.

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Posted: Dec 8th, 2014
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