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Posts Tagged ‘electricity’

Utility boss threatens ‘eternal darkness’ if energy prices frozen

historical data shows hell still warming nicely‘People who have stockpiled air in li-los, bicycle tyres, party balloons and inflatable women are acting irresponsibly.’

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Menopausal women’s hot flushes to power national grid

fan just takes, takes, takes‘We estimate that the energy generated by just 10,000 women will be equal to five hours of hydro-electric output from the Hoover Dam’

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2013
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npower launches ‘dual death’ discount for pensioners

Elderly couples could be a lot better off by switching to npower’s new Dual Death Discount tariff, the energy supplier announced today. Should both die within the 12 month contract, a 10% saving will be applied to the couple’s final bill.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2012
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Man killed by Taser offered ‘too much resistance’, claim police

‘The coppers at first remained static while attempting to charge the man who they suspected of battery, and did not see the situation’s potential to spark such a shocking result.’

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2011
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US capital to be converted from Washington DC to AC

The United States Government has announced ambitious plans to change the name of their capital to Washington AC keeping it in line with their present alternating political system.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2009
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