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Posts Tagged ‘England football squad’

FA insists England have clear World Cup exit strategy

The Football Association hit back last night after the international community criticised the England football team for becoming embroiled in yet another intractable foreign campaign that everyone agrees is unwinnable. ‘We have learned from the mistakes of the past,’ said David Sheepshanks, joint-acting Chairman of the FA. ‘This time we are entering the competition with a clear exit strategy. I give England fans my word that we will have the boys home inside a fortnight.’

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2010
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Stupid drivers forced to display white flags with red cross

lots and lots of really bad drivers out thereUnder new proposals to improve road safety during the summer season when traffic levels on Britain’s roads peak, the government has rolled out plans under which the stupidest drivers in England will have to identify themselves by displaying distinctive red and white flags on each side of the car. In extreme cases, more than two flags will need to be carried.

‘This is not discrimination, it is common sense,’ said new Transport Minister Norman Baker MP. ‘Some aggressive young men with brains the size of sweetcorn are a menace on the roads. With this requirement in place, at least other drivers and pedestrians will be able to see them coming.’

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Posted: May 24th, 2010
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