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Posts Tagged ‘england’

England defeat blamed on not enough flags back home

Sporting experts have put the blame on England’s 2:1 defeat to Italy squarely on the fans back home for their insufficient support with flags and bunting, and without a massive surge in flag waving over the next few days England’s chance of winning the tournament look slim. As usual.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014
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Suarez set to face England in a wheelchair

Uruguay’s star striker Luis Suarez is to play against England in the World Cup after training hard and showing that even in a wheelchair he was still good enough to run rings around the England defence.

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Posted: Jun 12th, 2014
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Jamie Oliver creates World Cup recipes for disaster

it'll all be over in 15 minutesJamie Oliver has created an exciting new range of firm World cup snacks that can be enjoyed conveniently while staring open-mouthed at unfolding sporting disaster or genocidal pandemonium in Brazil.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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Tories caught offside by Labour pledge to win 2010 World Cup

David Cameron was caught off guard at the political leaders’ debate last night as the Labour Party pledged that England would win the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2014
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Boy George denied England captaincy because he was ‘no good at football’

In the next chapter of ‘I’m a fading celebrity with a book launch coming up’, Boy George has declared that he would have been ‘a shoo-in’ to captain the England football team into ‘at least two world cups’, but for the discrimination directed towards him by the FA because he was ‘completely useless at football’, having shown utter ineptitude for the sport at school and giving up playing soon afterwards to pursue a career in music.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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