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Posts Tagged ‘england’

England players to receive win bonus of 40 Benson & Hedges

England’s highly paid international smokers are set to pocket 40 free ciggies if they can overcome the minnows of Montenegro later today. Manager Roy Hodgson gave the go ahead for the controversial bonus despite Joe Hart blaming his recent dip in form on passive smoking in the England dressing room.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2013
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UK ‘not united or a kingdom’, says EU

‘The Scots hate everyone else, the English hate the Scots, according to Nigel Farage, the Irish hate each other and the Welsh – well, heaven knows what they think at the best of times,’ ruled a Franco-German team of judges. ‘And anyway, you haven’t got a king.’

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2013
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Glaswegian attack victim slams ‘rubbish’ muggers

Och, take it, nae bother.A man left mildly injured by an inexperienced gang of muggers in the east end of Glasgow has spoken out against the ‘poor quality’ of the assault.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2013
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Cold calling pensioner turns tables on call centres

The call centres say Edith has now started using sales techniques such as starting the conversation with ‘good afternoon, this is just a quick chat call’ to lull them into a false sense of security.

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Posted: Mar 25th, 2012
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Women who wear glasses outstrip men with shaven heads

Social Trends says that the number of men with shaven heads has remained static possibly due to their doubtful intelligence and low sperm count.

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Posted: Mar 20th, 2012
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