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Posts Tagged ‘Environment’

Fisherman told Green Party membership now at sustainable levels

Following on from the news that North Sea cod is to return to the dinner table, the Marine Conservation Society (MCS) has declared that ‘tree-hugging beardy-weirdys’ are no longer endangered. Members of the public are now permitted to mock environmentalists without fear of reducing their numbers and are free to ‘fry them’ in ridicule, ‘batter’ them with abuse and smother them in the ‘ketchup of their scorn’.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2015
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Human released into the wild

988-human-releasedHas learnt to forage for nuts, berries and Fry’s Turkish Delight.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2015
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Millions of badger refugees flood across Welsh border

badgers Sarge, fousands of 'emSections of the M5 and the Severn Bridge were shut last night as thousands of badger refugees fled in convoy from villages in Gloucestershire and Somerset over the border to Wales.

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2014
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Aircraft to carry guilt-laden environmental warnings

With increasing evidence that aviation is a significant contributor to global warming the government today announced that all commercial aircraft entering or leaving UK airspace will be required to carry warnings about the damage that their carbon emissions are doing to the environment.

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Posted: Aug 20th, 2014
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‘No lasting damage done in Somerset’ says thankful Environment Minister

Owen Patterson’s valet claims it took him nearly an hour to polish the Environment Minister’s brogues following his recent visit to the Somerset flood plains.
The valet told the Commons Expense Claims Committee that it took the best part of a £1.40 tin of Kiwi light-tan shoe polish to restore the brogues to their former glory.

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2014
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