Owen Patterson’s valet claims it took him nearly an hour to polish the Environment Minister’s brogues following his recent visit to the Somerset flood plains.
The valet told the Commons Expense Claims Committee that it took the best part of a £1.40 tin of Kiwi light-tan shoe polish to restore the brogues to their former glory.
Posted: Jan 30th, 2014
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‘It would have been like the bloody Sahara round here, if it weren’t for them geniuses. Well done them.’
Posted: Nov 8th, 2013
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With the cost of policing protests at its test drilling site in Sussex spiralling out of control, energy firm Cuadrilla has decided to try Plan B. Starting next week, it will begin fracking for oil and gas in an equally large and equally immobile site, the Communities and Local Government Secretary Eric Pickles. There are some major logistical challenges to overcome, the firm admitted.
Posted: Aug 23rd, 2013
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Despite raising fears about the impact of fracking, the Daily Mail has conceded that it embarked on its own secret fracking campaign after its reserves of vitriol began to run low.
Posted: Jun 22nd, 2013
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Sections of the M5 and the Severn Bridge were shut last night as thousands of badger refugees fled in convoy from villages in Gloucestershire and Somerset over the border to Wales.
Posted: Oct 14th, 2012
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