NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Eric Pickles’

Drivers to spend that extra ten minutes abusing traffic wardens

‘Fantastic news,’ said London motorist Gary Barnes. ‘I’ll make sure I’m back at my car bang on time and hope that there’s a traffic warden around that I can tell to fuck off. I’ll be in my car bang on the ten-minute mark and drive off with the window down, arm out and middle finger extended.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 8th, 2015
More from News In Brief



UN asked to intervene in Obama-Cameron ‘bromance’

US and UK set to veto any end to 'relations'The UN has been called upon to act ‘swiftly and decisively’ amid worsening affection between Barack Obama and David Cameron at the Whitehouse last week. Public decency is said to be in tatters after lurid scenes of togetherness between the US president and his ‘bro’ were aired on prime-time television with no warning. Rumours that Cameron referred to Obama as his ‘homie’ are mercifully unconfirmed.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 18th, 2015
More from Politics



Controversy as Eric Pickles awarded planning consent for fourth chin

‘The decision to allow a fourth chin is an environmental disaster’ said Greenpeace activist Fenton Barnes. ‘The expansion in the capacity of Eric Pickles will only lead to a large increase in greenhouse gas emissions, specifically methane’.

Read more >

Posted: Sep 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Ed Balls to be questioned over Diana’s death

Balls maintains he was in was in Calais at the time in question, purchasing large quantities of wine and cigarettes in order to claim back in expenses at the UK value. Should he be convicted of the crime, it is likely he will face a public tea-bagging by anyone who was affected by the tragedy.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being a vegetable’

Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
More from Health