Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested. In fact, recent health reports classify the humble potato’s nutritional value as being on par with ‘asbestos’, ‘plutonium’ and ‘licking the underside of Eric Pickles.’
‘Tubby gents’ feel naturally aggrieved that someone appears to be ‘moving the goal posts’ in terms of dieting expectations. A spokesman for rotund males admitted: ‘I know we could lose a few pounds but what can we eat? We are told no fats, no proteins and now the spud. I’m genuinely confused. It grows in the ground, right? What is it then, some kind of meat? If it’s a meat, it should probably taste better’.
Posted: Mar 8th, 2014
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