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Posts Tagged ‘Essex’

NASA to send unmanned probe to Basildon

ain't it, though?NASA today announced a mission to understand whether intelligent life could have once existed in Essex.

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Posted: Jul 6th, 2013
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Essex launch of Jimmy Choo’s ‘sensible winter shoe range’

In response to a spate of broken ankles and bruised egos suffered by glamour models last winter, Choo has created a range that will ‘..enable Essex gels to get off their backs and wark uplight’.

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Posted: Nov 16th, 2012
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Paralympic lions plan to catch benefit cheats

Sources at the Department for Work and Pensions have confirmed rumoured plans to release wild lions into Paralympic venues to catch out benefit cheats.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2012
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Rogue Essex Girl sparks terror amongst locals in Kenya

Terrified Masai tribespeople were today taking emergency shelter following the sighting of what appeared to be a rogue Essex girl, lurking in the undergrowth, deep in the heart of a spectacular wildlife reserve.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2012
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County is now almost totally lion free, says Essex police chief

The head of Essex Police has hailed the force’s superb handling of the big cat outbreak in the county, proclaiming that, with the odd exception, Essex is now safe for the general public with the threat of being eaten alive minimalised to a few unavoidable casualties. Paul Mason, the chief constable of Essex Constabulary, said he was delighted with his officers’ professionalism and bravery during the crisis. ‘We’re sending out a message, to the lion community, that Essex is open for business.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2012
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