It is believed the pop-star turned fashion guru has tired of the fees charged by professional anorexics and their agents and has looked to cheaper sources of malnourished labour to combat the economic downturn. [read...]
DJs and shops across the country have already begun clearing time on their playlists for the as yet unwritten and unrecorded single to confirm their support of the unconfirmed campaign, lest they be considered as unchristmassy as someone who doesn’t care for the Coca-Cola advert. [read...]
In just two days the impoverished African nation has generously raised enough funds to supply ‘hot and bothered’ UK families with enough Calippo ice lollies, sunbrellas and lovely wicker sun hats to last until at least September. [read...]
‘Malnutrition does many terrible things to you but it doesn’t destroy your sense of taste. Get it away from me!’ [read...]
‘These people are losing their bonuses, their stock, their options… Please, just give us the fucking money.’ [read...]
