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Posts Tagged ‘Eton’

David Cameron: ‘Unemployed young can muck out my stables’

The Conservative Party has promised to come down hard on young ne’er do wells, by compelling them to ‘polish Tory silverware’. Rather than being an Etonian euphemism, the aim is to put those without employment or training into meaningful community work; such as cleaning moats, feeding the pheasants and handing out lemon-grass scented hand towels.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2015
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Eton declared ‘inadequate’ for producing mediocre politicians

'Just enough is not good enough'The National Union of Teachers has called for Eton College to be placed in ‘special measures’ as soon as possible because the elitist educational establishment has continued to produce students who have gone on to become substandard politicians.

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2015
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Aliens discovered on Earth, being educated at Eton

Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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Britain taken over by ‘culturally isolated’ schools linked to extreme wealth

A joint Ofsted-MI5 report released today revealed the extent to which Britain is being run by former pupils of a shady network of schools, open only to individuals with links to extreme wealth. Many of the schools apparently hide their activities behind high stone walls and ‘educate’ under the pretence of being charities.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2014
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Cameron goes multi cultural with a walk about among some non-Etonians

David Cameron has proved his critics wrong with a successful walkabout among the non-Etonian community.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2013
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